The marketing arm of P Spooner Stithians, noticing the upswerve in the sales of robots, has created its own Robonics Division. The ï¬rst models to be produced were in the ‘Space Men’ range, capable of seeking out female humans and subjecting them to a jolly exciting shaking.
In spite of their popularity these products were discontinued. High incidences of VWF were costing the company too much. Customers who have experienced such problems might wish to contact this site; www.fentons.co.uk, and typing VWF in the search box.
The obsolescent testosterone chip was replaced by more nurturing software that extended the machine’s capabilities into the domestic arena. New products could wash, dry and put away dishes and, with the appropriate (available) attachments, could make sourdough loaves and suggest family outings instead of staying at home all the time.
Robots are usually employed to perform tasks that human beings find too dirty, dangerous or tedious to undertake themselves. Many modern women ï¬nd breast feeding an irksome chore and now that most village girls have their sights set on more glamourous careers than wet-nursing, the new lactating robot is set to ï¬ll a niche. So far these wet-nursing androids have found favour with only the laziest, most self-absorbed and narcissistic of customers. Bundled with the hardware is a software package that enables the machine to locate, adopt and ship children from foreign countries.
Codenamed ‘The Mother of Invention’ it is marketed as ‘A Novel Transmission’ partly to gratify those men who are interested in the mechanical workings of our products. The mechanism, drawings of which can be seen on p. 270, vol 3 of ‘Ingenious Mechanisms for Designers and Inventors’, Industrial Press, NY, 1951, was chosen for its simplicity and ability to deliver a relentless reciprocating action under arduous conditions of service.
